I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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