why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
