We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
