she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
