i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
