I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
