omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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