Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize