um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
