please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
