I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Randomize
