forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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