yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just pee around me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
