You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
