when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
