cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
high people should be assigned attendants
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
and you fell through a lawn chair
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
