Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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