I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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