The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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