so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just puked most of my soul out..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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