I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
