i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
