Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
it was like eating out sand paper
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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