sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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