My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
