Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Randomize
