Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
