Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
