I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
