in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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