I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
