So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
