i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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