Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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