Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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