i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
