He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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