Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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