i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
