Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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