don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
