I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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