I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
