please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
