I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
