Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
