Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
