Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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