so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
