Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
