I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
