I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
