How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
