We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
