ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
