who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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